Last Tuesday, I stood in my kitchen holding a box of regular pasta in one hand and gluten-free pasta in the other, wondering how dinner got so complicated.

My 14-year-old can’t have dairy. My husband decided he’s doing keto (again). And my 8-year-old? Well, she thinks vegetables are basically poison. Meanwhile, I’m just trying to get everyone fed without having a breakdown.

Sound familiar?

I used to cook three different meals every single night. Sometimes four if you count the nights I gave up and made myself a peanut butter sandwich while everyone else ate their “special” dinners.

When dinner feels impossible

Here’s what usually happened: I’d start cooking around 4 PM. By 6:30, I’d have dirty every pot in the house, spent $200 at Whole Foods, and still somehow managed to make food that half the family couldn’t eat.

Last month I actually served my daughter plain chicken breast, white rice, and steamed broccoli while my husband ate a bunless burger with a side salad. I ate leftover mac and cheese standing at the counter because I forgot to make myself anything.

“Wait, since when can’t you eat tomatoes?” I asked my teenager, who had apparently developed a new food sensitivity while I wasn’t looking.

The thing is, cooking multiple meals every night isn’t just exhausting - it’s expensive. And wasteful. And honestly? It made me start to resent dinner time.

I was spending at least two hours in the kitchen every evening, plus another hour cleaning up. Our grocery bill hit $400 a week (for a family of four!), and I was throwing away so much food because I’d buy ingredients for meals that never happened.

Plus everyone was eating at different times. My husband would eat at 6, my teenager at 7, and my youngest at 8 because she needed her food “just right.” I felt like a short-order cook, not a mom.

What actually worked

So here’s what saved my sanity: I stopped trying to make everyone happy with one perfect meal. Instead, I started making meals where people could pick and choose what they wanted.

Think taco bar, but for regular dinners.

I cook one main thing - like seasoned ground turkey or baked chicken. Then I put out different sides and toppings. Everyone builds their own plate.

Take last week’s “taco” night (which wasn’t really tacos):

  • I made one big batch of seasoned ground turkey
  • Put out Mission flour tortillas, some lettuce cups from Costco, and shredded cheese
  • My husband made his into a salad bowl with extra cheese
  • My daughter took plain turkey and a tortilla (separate, obviously)
  • My teenager loaded up on turkey and avocado in a lettuce wrap
  • I actually got to sit down and eat with everyone

Was it Pinterest-perfect? No. Did everyone eat? Yes. Did I only dirty three pans? Also yes.

Other meals that work

Baked potato night is another winner. I throw a bunch of russets in the oven and set out toppings: butter, cheese, broccoli, chili, whatever’s in the fridge. My keto husband loads his with butter and cheese. My dairy-free kid puts chili on hers. Easy.

We also do “pasta and stuff” - I make one box of regular Barilla pasta and keep some Barilla gluten-free in the pantry for my neighbor’s kid when she comes over. Then there’s marinara, pesto from a jar, parmesan, and whatever vegetables didn’t go bad this week.

The stir-fry thing works too, but honestly? It’s more work because you have to actually chop vegetables. Some weeks I just can’t.

Foods that work for almost everyone

I’ve learned that some foods are just easier. Sweet potatoes, for example. You can bake them, mash them, cut them into fries. Most people can eat them regardless of their diet thing.

Eggs are great too - scrambled, hard-boiled, fried. Fast and cheap.

Ground turkey or chicken works for pretty much everyone except vegetarians (sorry, vegetarians).

Planning (sort of)

I keep a running list on my phone of meals that actually worked. When I’m heading out to our local grocery store trying to figure out what to make for dinner, I just look at the list.

I also write down who can’t eat what, because I definitely forget. Like, did my husband give up bread this week or last week? Is my teenager still avoiding tomatoes? The list helps.

When I just can’t

Some days are hard. Really hard.

On those days, I give everyone a container with their name on it and put their “safe” foods inside. Crackers and cheese for one kid, leftover chicken for my husband, a peanut butter sandwich for the other kid. Everyone microwaves their own stuff and we still eat together.

Is it ideal? No. But we’re all fed and nobody’s crying, so I call it a win.

The reality check

Look, you don’t have to be a perfect parent who makes Instagram-worthy meals every night. Your job is to feed your family, not run a restaurant.

Some nights you’ll nail it. Other nights you’ll serve cereal for dinner and that’s okay too. The goal is getting everyone fed with your sanity intact.

Try this week

Pick one night this week and try the build-your-own thing. Start simple - maybe baked potatoes or tacos.

Don’t stress about making it perfect. Just see if it works for your family.

And if it doesn’t work? That’s okay too. Not every solution works for every family. But maybe it’ll give you one less crazy night in the kitchen.

What’s your biggest dinner challenge? We’d love to hear your stories! Email us at hello@choregami.com or tag us on Instagram @choregami!

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Topics covered:

meal planning family multiple diets dinner solutions kitchen organization

📚 Part of the "Multi diet meal planning" Series